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February 07, 2012

Sometimes, as a kid, you hear song lyrics wrong and don't yet have the self-awareness to to consider you might be wrong.

When you're growing up, it's easy to misinterpret song lyrics. Your critical thinking skills aren't fully developed, and you're not yet proficient in using context clues. You also lack the self awareness to consider you might be wrong about something. 

Listed below are five songs that I misinterpreted as a kid. Perhaps you made the same mistakes I did.

1) Aerosmith - Dude Looks Like A Lady

Do Me Like A Lady.jpg

I was positive the lyrics were "Do me like a lady." And, according to Google, a whole lot of other people did as well. But, even though I thought that's what Steven Tyler was saying, I had an even further misinterpretation. I figured the song was obviously written to mean that he wanted to be treated like a lady. But the thing I always imagined when I heard the song was Tyler breaking his penis off like a twig and then asking someone to have sex with him in what was now a freshly made hole. I know that's disturbing. I was disturbed whenever I thought about it. But, I'm proud of myself for having such a layered and complex interpretation of an Aerosmith song at the age of twelve.

2) The Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy

Hey Chelsea.jpg

Totally thought this was a song about Chelsea Clinton. I still sing it that way in my head.

3) TLC - Waterfalls

Jason Waterfalls.jpg

I actually never paid any attention to this song. But, a friend of mine named Zan informed me that she and her friends would sing "Go, go, Jason Waterfalls!" along with TLC anytime it came on the radio. They thought it was a song cheering on a runner named Jason Waterfalls. They really wanted Jason Waterfalls to win the race.

4) The Luniz - I Got Five On It

High Five.jpg

For this one, I assumed they were talking about getting a high five for doing a good job.

"How'd you do at your soccer game today?"

"Very well! I scored a goal, and everyone was really excited. I got five on it from my coach!"

And for the part where they say "messin' with that indo weed," I thought it was "nothin' with that in the week." Which, you know... makes no sense whatsoever. 

5) Blackstreet - No Diggity

No Dignity.jpg

I thought Blackstreet was thrilled at the idea of a woman with no dignity because they could take advantage of her. I also thought the guys in Blackstreet were jerks. And, as for the "I got to bag it up, bag it up" part... I was under the impression this was a pro-condom message. I mean, if you're trawling the streets for women with no dignity, a condom is a must. Actually, I'm still not entirely positive that that's not what "bag it up" refers to.