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Published May 04, 2009 More Info »
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Published May 04, 2009

And that's how the fight started.......


One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a

Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I

bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

********************************************************************

My wife walked into the den&asked "What is on the tv?"

I replied, "Dust".

And that's how the fight started.....

********************************************************************

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a

compliment."

The husband replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And that's how the fight started.....

********************************************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3

seconds."

I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started.....

********************************************************************

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's how the fight started....

********************************************************************

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in

bed.

I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's how the fight started....

********************************************************************

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her, "The beer will make you look better at night than the cold

cream."

And that's how the fight started.....

********************************************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my

order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's how the fight started....

Any more?   (I didn't write them by the way.)

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