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September 25, 2008


I work in retail and a little while back Will Ferrell favorited this video by Bruce Sprinsteen called "Do Your Job"...and I get where he's coming from and agree that I don't know why people bother to do things in a half assed manner. There's just no point to it. However, there are some things that can contribute to people who work in these jobs to be less, shall we say "driven" to be accomodating. At my job, I do wear a uniform, so the first place I go when I get to work is to the washroom to get changed. There is no bathroom specific to staff at our store, so I have to use one of the two stalls in the women's bog. Now, why is it, in fact it's even a question of HOW is it that women...DAINTY, DEMURE, SEXY WOMEN can leave a bathroom stall in the tatters that I observe daily??? I often think to myself that the most perfect day of my life will be the day that comes where I don't have to wipe up someone else's pee before I, myself can use a toilet. I have NEVER NEVER EVER left even the slightest drop of pee, a hair, and certainly nothing of the fecal or bloody variety on a toilet seat. In fact, there has maybe been once or twice in my life that I have even managed to get a drop of pee on the toilet. Does this make me some sort of genius??? I'm a high school drop out who's worked in retail for almost 20 years...do I sound like a genuis to anyone??? So, how is it that I manage my bowel function in such a way that there are no left overs? Now, I am either to believe that these people are just excited to share...some left over pride thing from showing mommy and daddy their "poo-poos" and "pee-pees" in the potty...or sometimes I imagine someone viciously declaring territory by smearing their fluids/feces/clots all over the place...but what I tend to believe is that this mess is actually caused by people so disgusted to be in a public washroom that they try to do it squatting and not touching anything...perhaps causing them to fall and spray and defecate randomly. But, I have to pose this question to these people. At the beginning of every day, that bathroom is clean, ergo if there is pee, poop, anything of that venacular in the stall AFTER you use it, it is YOUR mess. If you are an adult, then you really should be able to negotiate tending to your own mess in a shared facility. If you can't deal with wiping your own mess, what makes you think that I want to do it? So, be an adult, negotiate your own functions and remember that you had to rely on this public amenity, as will others, so please clean up your own piss and shit. I will be nicer to you and humor your ridiculous questions about pencil leads if you will clean up your mess and allow me to start my day without having to see what you have left behind.