Celebration in Silicon Valley today as Apple apostles everywhere took to the streets in celebration of the company’s newest groundbreaking multimedia device, a slightly larger, folding iPad with a permanently attached keyboard. A representative for the company released a statement in which he said, “The inspiration for this giant leap forward in technology came when a multitude of consumers indicated the desire for a surface they could actually type on… for years the next step was always smaller, I am here to tell you that the future is larger!” This newest product, nicknamed the “kneetop,” already has fans of the brand lining up for its purchase three months ahead of it’s release. One such devotee remarked, “Hopefully I’m in line long enough so that by the time I get to the front, the newer, newer, larger, larger version of the iPad is released. “ According to a spokesman for Apple’s research department, the newer, newer iPad will feature a heavy, tower processor without which it cannot function as well as a stand-alone floppy disk drive housed in beige-colored steel. He added, “Who knows where this new technology will lead us?“ before he hinted that the iPhone 6 will feature include a standard beeper interface as well a cassette adapter to play music through your car stereo… electronic skip protection will be available for an up-charge.