Move over Buster Pointdexter- these dentists are hot hot HOT. Here are a few dental experts who, if you started flossing, just might go out with you.
“Hi, I’m Vanessa. I’m an old soul who likes lazy Sundays in bed, doing the crossword, and listening to Billie Holliday. (If I’m feeling adventurous, I’ll try all three at once.) I’m looking for someone who’s funny, sensitive, and uses dental floss regularly to eliminate the 500 bacterial biofilms that live in your plaque. Oh, you don’t? Nevermind.“
“Tim’s my name, mini-golf’s my game. Literally- I invented mini-golf. When I’m not in court with the patent office, I’m usually at the gym, strengthening my putting muscles. I want a partner who’s game for whatever windmills, loop-the-loops, and intellectual property lawsuits life throws our way. Oh, and it goes without saying: they need to adhere to the American Dental Association’s recommendation of flossing twice daily.”
“If I had to describe myself in one word, I’d say ‘loyal.’ If I had to describe myself in 13 words, I’d say ‘a diehard Packers fan who also likes going to museums and baking sometimes.’ I don’t really have a ‘type.’ I’ve dated tall guys and short guys, skinny guys and muscular guys, guys from North Dakota and guys from the other one. My only dealbreaker? A guy who doesn’t take just two minutes to prevent gum disease by flossing.”
“Libra here! I’m looking for- wait, is that food debris in your teeth??? Uh, SWIPE LEFT!”
“There’s only three things you need to know about me. One: I like long walks on the beach. Two: I like running on the beach more, because it’s like walking but faster. And three: I take the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research seriously. So if you don’t floss, excuse me- there’s a sunset-lit beach waiting for me to sprint across. Alone.”
“What? Ain’t you never seen a cartoon beaver dentist before? Well guess what. This cartoon beaver dentist makes $125k a year easy. And you know what else? Rolph Chompychomps D.D.S. doesn’t waste his time on fools who risk tooth decay by not flossing regularly. Buh-bye!”