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September 30, 2014
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Someone in America may have Ebola. Calm down, for now.

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A patient in Dallas may have the Ebola virus. It’s still likely a false alarm, and even if it’s not, doctors are taking every precaution, so there’s no need to barricade yourself into your apartment for at least a week.

The unknown patient has been quarantined in a Dallas hospital. Doctors have declined to release any personal information about the patient, including their gender or where they were traveling from, no doubt to keep from spreading panic. That’s ridiculous. When panic spreads, we’ll find out all that stuff on our own, or we’ll make it up.

UPDATE: Well, they tested positive for Ebola. Go get in your bunker.

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