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Published August 23, 2008

Liar, Liar Update

Jim McPartland

www.funnyordie.com/jbmcpart

 

On 8/22/08, a bounty hunter named Leonard Padilla posted Casey Anthony's $500k bond. She is now home with her parents. Still without her 2 yr. old daughter Caylee. Please read my Liar, Liar blog for the background.

http://www.funnyordie.com/blog/posts/2417

A good mom?

 Casey in better times

One would have to ask why Mr. Padilla would do such a thing. Convinced she is innocent and seeking justice? Thinks she's hot and wants to hook up with her at some of those bars she was searching for Caylee in? Free lifetime passes to Universal Studios, Casey's former employer?

None of the above.

Padilla hosts a National Geographic show on bounty hunters. I always though NG was a class act, focusing on lost Indian tribes, where, as a 12 year old, one could catch his first glimpse of real breasts in their natural environment (they were always saggy). Now NG is into sensationalistic journalism and, ‘coming up next after Bounty Hunter at 7:30 PM’, Lost Civilizations will now focus on native breast augmentation.

 

At least I know where my kid is.

I assume Padilla wants Casey to lie her way out of the house, past the droves of reporters staked out in her driveway, so he can hunt her like Big Game Hunters (that'd make a good show too). Write a proposal, Jenny- if NG will do this, why not ‘Dead Whore’, too??

Given her propensity for weaving a believable, yet totally bullshit tale, I can see her doing it.

There’s a few scary things here, besides the fact Casey’s free without an electronic tracking bracelet (she complained it would not match any of her outfits)-

1-      Right now, all she’s been charged with is child neglect and providing police with false statements. That’s a max of 3-5 if proven guilty. More like 6 months suspended sentence as, with no priors, she’s unlikely to get the max.

2-      There are rumors the police botched the investigation. Instead of just following her for a while- they swooped in, dug up the yard, impounded her car- BUT they supposedly still lack enough circumstantial evidence to charge her with anything else. Worse part is they have to before her arraignment in January or she could go free. Free to go back to bar hopping. And she won’t be with Padilla then. 

Leonard Padilla- next member of Big Game Hunters

 ‘I’m a thinkin’ Caylee’s over there, boys. Get the bloodhounds. And fish me out one of ‘dose Coors Lites.’

 

The last quasi believable tale I heard was that Caylee had drowned in the Anthony’s above ground pool- Casey wigged out and ending up dumping her somewhere. The poor girl is not right in the head and a mental institution is really where she belongs.

Here’s the thing about our justice system that gets me.

Also on Friday, in Bridgeport, CT., 3 people were arrested for possession with intent to sell 90 pounds of pot. Granted, that’s enough to keep Seth Rogan smiling for a while.

The problem I have is their bonds were set at $1,000,000.

Casey Anthony- possible child killer = $500k.

Pot Dealers = $1m.

The Dealers are not suspected of killing anyone. Last time I checked, pot in the back of a car does not smell like decomposing bodies.

Do you think Padilla might be interested in posting their bond too? Once they get out, he could track them to the suburban homes of the kids that end up smoking it, eating chips, and laughing to South Park on DVD. Nary a dead child in the crowd.

I’d much rather run into those guys that Casey.

Wouldn’t you?

Editors' note- Lab tests came back POSITIVE for a decomposing body in the trunk of casey's car 8/25/08. I guess her mom was wrong about bad pepperoni pizza.

 

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