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SCARFACE


 

During Tony’s rise to power montage (“Push it to the Limit”) several cut scenes were taken out. These images had to do with Tony and the local children he was mentoring, i.e. “Tony’s Gang”. Much like a good member of the Big Brother/ Big Sisters, Tony had set up a charitable foundation to look out for down on their luck neighborhood kids and inner-city youths. Tony is shown tutoring one child in long division, shooting hoops with another, and putting on a puppet show for some younger children.

 

All in all, the pictures which were included in this sequence were shown to endear test-audiences to Tony. Being that the ending of Mr. DePalma’s masterpiece had to be a tragedy (for licensing purposes) the directors made the decision to cut not only these images but the full funeral scene in which all of “Tony’s Gang” attends in their mini red Hawaiian shirts and matching M-16’s with M203 grenade launchers. The saddest moment was when young Eduardo Jr., the most endearing young latino boy the casting agents could find, lays a single rose on Tony’s casket and sheds a single tear into the camera.




(the only way those kids will play with 'Uncle Tony' now!)


 

ENTER THE DRAGON

 

As is revealed in the movie, Bruce Lee’s character Lee was actually working for the British government. What the audience didn’t know was he was actually a double agent, in truth working for Han’s evil organization!

Several scenes were cut from ‘Dragon’, one of the most important being the explanation scene of Lee and Han discussing how Lee will ‘pretend’ to break into the underground lair in order to confuse anyone who is running surveillance via satellite cameras. Also mentioned are the times in which they will ‘spontaneously converse’ for the afore-mentioned reason.

 

[SPOILER ALERT]

A further deleted scene shows the treacherous nature of Lee, he is also revealed to be working undercover for America’s CIA in partnership with the KGB.

That’s right; Lee was a quadruple agent, playing all sides across the middle! A last deleted scene shows Lee in a high-rise far above Tokyo, laughing into an early-model cell-phone as Su Lin slithers seductively in the living room of the penthouse.

 

Sadly, for those conspiracy theorists out there, these scenes were deleted and Lee will forever remain and unscathed symbol of philosophical moral virtue.

 

STREET FIGHTER

 

Due to budget constraints the end fight between Jean Claude Van Damme’s Lt. Guile and Raul Julia’s M. Bison was originally sequenced using actual footage from the video game:



(Screenshot from the Original Ending)


Luckily, advance marketing convinced a third world dictator to order 100,000 units of the video game. The dictator was somewhat confused as to the nature of this ‘video violence simulator’ and had expected to use it as a Krav Maga style combat trainer for his troops. Sadly for him his troops still can’t fight their way out of a paper bag, however they are pretty badassed at grouping combos and throwing hadukens.

 

The money from the dictator was used to film the scene as it is shown in the film. Although the video game sequenced version was actually better and tested far higher with audiences than the live version, the producers were forced to stick with the live version to appease their investors.

 

GOONIES

 

According to an early movie reference by Mouth the Walsh’s are not the well-adjusted American family they are made out to be:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6pTHW46b8k&feature=related

 

Not only is Mr. Walsh the owner of several torture devices, a large amount of drug trafficking is also taking place in the Goondocks. (Makes sense, what better place for distribution than the slums, and who better to run it than a sex-craved slumlord?)

 

As the deleted scenes show, the whole movie was actually a metaphor for escaping parental molestation. From the beginning sequence with the Fratelli’s breaking out of jail (obvious foreshadowing and symbolism) each scene serves the underlying notion that things are not as they seem.

 

A perfect example is a deleted scene in which Mr. Walsh, in coming home from work and surveying the damage, he immediately focuses on Bran’s torn-up bike. After launching into a tirade of curses on how the children lack discipline, he then storms upstairs to his sex-dungeon to commence self-mutilation.

 

In the theatrical version, at the end of the movie when things are wrapping up, what the audience didn’t see was the 10 minute all-nude bare knuckle boxing match between a young Josh Brolin and Keith Walker’s Mr. Walsh. The scene literally goes down like cross between ‘The Full Monty’ and ‘Fight Club’ while the bystanders cheer Bran on and the Fratelli’s cover all bets. At the end, father and son share a tearful hug, the Fratellis are arrested for illegal gambling, and the Goondocks are saved by the illicit profits from the fight (Which Data managed to steal with yet another home-made gadget)

 

After watching the full version the producers were left with one question: These children were willing to risk their lives to go on this wild adventure to ‘save the goondocks’, why? Obviously they were victims of Munchausen syndrome and couldn’t stand to leave Master Walsh.

This lesson seemed too far-fetched and overgrown for Richard Donner’s tastes, so much of the ‘real’ story was cut.

 

ROADHOUSE

 

Anyone who’s scene the 1989 classic ‘Roadhouse’ is relatively familiar with the plot: Dalton, badass barroom philosopher man takes over the ‘Double-Duece’ and while cleaning up the bar manages to clean up the entire town.

Lucky for Cinema Historians, the deleted scene from ‘Roadhouse’ didn’t have enough juice to actually change the entire course of the movie, however it did seem to change the way audiences reacted to Patrick Swayze. 

Taking some subtle clues from his previous ‘Dirty Dancing’, Dalton in this scene takes his new staff of Bouncers to the dance floor and leads them in some very peculiar training.

While being egged with an original song by Jeff Healey, Dalton and his boys don full ballet outfits and commence fight training through dance. “Feel the rhythm. As your opponent leads, so shall you move.” Also, in a very Patches O’Houlihan moment Dalton exclaims; “If you can dance on a bar, you can throw people out of a bar!”


 



(It's a box step. Your basic 1-2, 1-2. Feel the music!)

The movie goes on from there with Dalton taking down Wesley and his men. When the ballet scene was left in, several test screenings ended with half-empty popcorn buckets being thrown at the screen and/or entire theatres being burned to the ground.


...The decision was made to omit the dance sequence.


 
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