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June 18, 2010
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Those Were Different Times Contest #67

introducing a sermon by HAROLD HENNIGER: "THE WORLD BEYOND DEATH"
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internet problems + summer frickin' vacation (wooo hooo) = apology.
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and the "Mormon (actually 5%) Award" goes to:
only costs you 10%...FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
-joe lee three

and the "Seventh Day Adventist (gone psycho, look it up) Award" goes to:
...kill your whole family!
-icronic


10. what worries me... is why people in heaven have to be fenced in.
-phukuhp

9. Seriously honey, no Peter jokes.
-missalicia

8. Okay the adults choose to die, but taking baby too?
-drwho

7.5. "Aaaah, shit, ho--"
"Don't curse in front of the baby!"
"Shut up. Harold gave us wrong friggin' directions. This is Phil Spector's place."

7. We picked a bad time to die. Looks like the plumbing is all fucked-up."
-trident

6. Fuck that,I'm not going unless there's an escalator
-bigjas

5. This winding path shit really sucks. At least the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
-MacSpruce

4. "Damn! They're still with me."
-FissureFilms

3. "Oooh, no line. I'm glad we died early."
-JBthe217
2. 5. Holy Shit - I always wanted to die in a gated community!!
2. Great - Heaven was designed by Donald Trump and Liberace.
-keibar

1.5.  They really will get to heaven, after they leave the baby in the graveyard.
-or-
He really will get to heaven, after he leaves the wife and the baby in the graveyard.
-or-
Just a quick stop at the baby dump.

1. The radiant glow behind the gate represents the eternal availabilty of oral-sex and opiates.
-theDIRTYmidget


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