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August 10, 2015

What will President Trump's legacy be?

As we inch closer to the upcoming election, the phrase “President Donald Trump” becomes more and more of a reality by the day. But what will the Trump presidency look like? What will President Trump’s legacy be? Here are just some of the highlights of the future “Trump Age”:

2016: Donald Trump is elected president. He celebrates by immediately sending Rosie O'Donnell to Guantanamo. Vice President Dennis Rodman gets 74 American flag tattoos…on his face.

2017: President Trump has moved the nation’s capital to Atlantic City. The White House is now known as “The Trump White House and Casino.” It is a golden age.

2018: President Trump puts all of the “poor people” in a big pile. America has NEVER been better.

2019: President Trump declares it illegal to be “middle class.” The entire Midwest is a concentration camp. America is thriving.

2020: The Apprentice Wars have begun. President Trump fires God.

2021: President Trump declares war on “ugly people.” Computers now have emotions. They are always sad.

2022: A soft drink costs 7 billion Trump Bucks. Most of us are bleeding from our abdomen.

2023: The “Trump Bots” have made Europe uninhabitable. God questions every decision He’s ever made.

2024: Emperor Trump has secretly built a “Death Star.” “Full House” is back on NBC.

2025: The United States of Trump is mostly made of garbage and old Miss Universe sashes. “The Fast and the Furious 7,584” wins EVERY Oscar.

2026: Supreme Leader Trump has fired Congress. He is now a giant robot who eats people.

2027: Supreme Being Trump has swallowed the internet. Earth is a giant casino. “The Simpsons” is renewed for another 65 seasons.

2028: Dark Lord Trump legalizes the use of poor people as a power source. The Earth is renamed “Trumpmerica.” “Seinfeld” is rebooted, with Michael Richards playing every character.

2029: Vengeful God of the Universe Trump has replaced most words with “trump.” Trump trumps poor people trump trump trump. Trump trump trump trump holocaust.

2030: The Apprentice Wars have come to a horrific end. Ultimate Master Trump names Jaden Smith Secretary of the Afterlife.

2031: Trump loses the closest election in history. All hail President Minaj.