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September 09, 2009


I'm often afraid that today's rap artists over exert themselves. With all the endless bottles of Hypnotiq, Finger Snappin', Collah Poppin' and Roof Rasin' they've got to be physically and emotionally exhausted. So I have begun my pilgrimage to pacify the world of rap one artist at a time. It's simply a process of slowing them down and providing them with a new career in which they can be happy and at ease. Here is my first proposition:

If these disappointed soul-portals don't just jab you in the heart, you might want to check your pulse.
Chamillionaire's songs are a blatant cry for escape. He has been ridin' dirty for so long that he has apparently written a song called "Front to Back", which I can only assume preaches about proper wiping technique for hygienically-challenged female rappers & video girls out there. Where has his dignity gone?! A UTI is not a chain gang from Compton! This man needs a break!

SO Ladies and Gentlemen, I proudly present to you my pride and joy, the President Pro-Tempore of all things smooth jams:


Soothing and Comforting, he's everybody's cup of tea.