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Published August 26, 2011

On August 26, my next door neighbor smoked marijuana for 42 hours and 0 seconds straight. With my gas mask in hand, I began to question him about life. This is what happened. . .


David:

Hello Jeremy! How about you start off by telling us a little about your self

Jeremy:

I’m Jeremy the guy but my friends call me Jeremy the guy. I can see in the dark with a flash light, I’m pretty good at breathing and I just turned 24 but I’m 97 in Muppet years,


David:

Fantastic. So Jeremy I have to ask you, why is the Earth round?

Jeremy:

The Earth is round because billions of years ago goblins hammered it into a shape that would captivate every living thing on the planet for thousands of years. Also my voice is Falling asleep, can you hear it?

David:

No Jeremy, in the event that you may be dying as we speak and since I’m to lazy to call 911, is their anything that you’d like to do to save your life?

Jeremy:

Well I’d like to start off by thanking the academy for pu-

David:

What?!?!? No, wrong answer, next question. what is your name

Jeremy:

I AM NUMBER 4

David:

What’s Number 4's name?

Jeremy:

Jeremy of Nazareth

David:

How do you spell your name o great one?

Jeremy:

Ya know what man I don’t really feel like getting into the linguistics of what comes out of my mouth so. . . yeah

David:

Jeremy is spelled J . . .

Jeremy:

A-R-I-M-E DUH, I know that! It's not like I’m stupid brohemuth. C'mon you gotta have more faith in my brains smart power. it's like that dude Frankenstein, everybody thought he was stupid but then a wizard told him he never needed a brain to be smart

David:

I believe you’re talking about the scare crow in the wizard of Oz, but everything else you said is probrobly true, most likely. . . 60% true i think. Now Jeremy, what is your favorite food?

Jeremy:

All food is sacred and beautiful. Chefs of the world are people who truly understand the love and compassion I harbor for delectable goods. It comes in multiple shapes and sizes, weights and flavors, feelings and colors, their are truly no minorities in the realm of edible treats. Because I believe in the joy of foods so much, I’m not surprised that some people have food fetishes. It's so beautiful, no wonder it's being used as an aphrodisiac. Food is one of the things in this world that we all are lucky to have been blessed with.

David:

Except in Africa, but that was, quite frankly, pretty inspiring

Jeremy:

Tittys :-)

David:

Ok, I was expecting expecting that. . .

Jeremy:

YOUR PSYCHIC!?!?!?!?!

David:

Ugh LAST QUESTION, what will you be doing for the rest of the day?

Jeremy:

Well it's back to the world. Theirs millions of people in trouble every day and its up to me to save them.

(Jeremy gets up, grabs a bag Doritos and a pack of red bull)

David:

Where are you going?

Jeremy:

(With his back turned he turns to me and says) Wherever life takes me dude guy, I'm a super hero now so uhh . . . I have to go do cool shizznit around the globe

David:

Will I ever see you again?

Jeremy:

Life has many roads my friend. I'm sure our paths will cross again one day. Good bye, AND STAY CLASSY YOUNG ONE!

(Jeremy then turns into a hawk and heads toward a blimp that says free chilli fries)

David:

I'll miss you. . . Dumb ass



Now try not to laugh at this Glee-ish anti drug PSA


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY1Pl1zGowc



@DavidAyalasOk

 

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