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October 29, 2009


 Inspired less by Julio/Willie and much more by an Alanis song called "Unsent", I am preparing a list of the boys I've loved and lost over the years :) There have been just a few. First Crush : Scott Donnelly, grade 1 :) Julie Bureau and I went toe to toe for his affection until uber hottie Graham Potts came to town (grade two), and once again Julie and I both ate curb and snow during our many, many catfights.  I still have the valentine he gave me which is red construction paper folded in half with a glued on pic of Archie and Betty kissing in his jalopy.  The poem inside reads "Tulips in the garden, Tulips in the park, but the two lips I like best are our two lips in the dark :)  Although, it may have been intended for Julie, who was much looser than me at that time as I never even kissed the boy.  Nobody else rang my bell until Claire Cornish, who was pretty ugly but I always had a thing for boys with glasses, and he was SO arrogant and a grade five in my grade four/five split class...older boy with glasses and attitude.  Sigh.  I thought Warren Perry was a total hottie in my grade five class (moved away from Claire, who never gave me the time of day anyway LOL), but then my older brother brought home his older brother Trevor Perry, who I danced with at one of my brother's parties and used to day dream about...alot.  Ironically, it was another Trevor, Trevor Wilson, who lived next door to my Aunt who would be my first official heartbreak.  I was twelve, he was twelve, he invited me over to listen to his Duran Duran records.  My cousins came over to bother us and we were playing hide and seek with them.  We hid in the downstairs walk in closet, sitting against the door so the little bastards couldn't open it...then my cousin Tim switched the light off and Trevor leaned in and gave me my first kiss :)  Tim became my favorite cousin :) I carried a long distance torch for Trevor for a looooong time...but he was a hottie and a bit of a whore in retrospect, as were the other thirteen year olds I drooled over including Steve Massey, Matthew Briers  and Perry Brazeau.  It always came back to Trevor.  When I was training to get my driver's license, I took off with my mom's car one day (I was sixteen), and I drove all the way to Oakville to track down Trevor at his dad's house.  I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but he looked so different, really dark hair, pimples and a nasty, ghetto earring (I hadn't seen him in a while and still idealized him as his sweet pre-adolescent self).  I drove him to his job at a golf course and never saw him again after that.  Also lost all priviledges with the car after that....not worth it.  The age of the Peter's arrived, first one was Peter Klein, who despite his name, was a skin head and also was dumb as a rock but had the most amazing blue eyes and a destructive/artistic bent...I used to drool over him in math class which he appreciated but he wasn't into me.  Peter Remus, 6'6, college boy son of my mom's friend...I went to a party at his house and was doing my best not to talk too much so i was drinking (great plan BTW)...so when the dam broke and I started chatting up a storm, this bitch friend of his stands there for a moment and then turns to him and asks "Did somebody put a quarter in her?" Yah.  He was GAY, and his boyfriend was even hotter than he was. Damn!  Then I began travelling...(this is taking longer than I thought LOL Wasn't even out of highschool yet!)...we're getting to the part of the story where I only remember the first names (if that LOL). I went with a couple of friends on a houseboat in the Locks, met Jim, drank and had sex for the first time ona little rocky part of beach near the shore and then again in the back of his van LOL.  It was so sweet because we were still canoodling a bit after he walked me back to the boat, and I remember this very vividly because I was stepping over the rail of the boat and still kissing him and then the drop on the other side was much lower than where we were standing and I completely lost my balance and fell...BOOM!...it happened very quickly and we both laughed (kind of "she's okay folks!" scenerio), and he walked away and I never spoke to/saw him again.  Sigh. My first time was with a murse from Fenelon Falls.  :)  Keeping with my "I only have sex within a four hundred mile radius of my home"phase, I went to Jamaica and was standing in line for the buffet and there was this tall, hot Swiss guy in front of me, drunk and daring, I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around and I chirped "Hi." And he gave me this wild eyed grin and said "Hi!" back and that's how I spent the rest of the week in Jamaica and also vistted him in Switzerland for almost a month in 1992.  I was his first love :) and we still chat on Facebook.  Yummy Sascha :)  Now this is really sad because I don't remember his name but my friend Simon who I went to Greece with will...LOL In 1992, I went to Europe and tooled around, and I had met both Simon and Sascha in Jamaica two years before, stayed with Sascha for a bit and then went to England, stayed with Simon's family and the two of us went to Kefalonia for our birthday holiday (mines Aug 23 his Aug 26).  Simon, who is gay, and I got along very well unless we were travelling together.  Simon, gets up early in the morning and hits the beach to tan (complete with speedo and eye cups), I was suffering terribly in the heat and spent the days in the darkened room, but then came to life at night.  I wasn't alone at the hotel because there was a blonde, blue eyed menace who was on his honeymoon no less...bwahahahahaha..and his wife was also a morning glory and tanner, whereas we were more hang back, play cards...and OKAY...ONE TIME just before the sun came up we stumbled down to the beach and went skinny dipping!!!   Hahahahaha!  I wanted to keep him but all I had was the watermelon he wasn't planning to eat the day he and his wife left to go back to Essex.  Don't remember his name LOL.  I got back from Europe and made one more play for gay Peter, denied and absolutely hate to admit that, one,  I slept with a guy named Norman, two that he had very insufficient funds in the pants department but still managed to give me chlamydia!!!  NO more crazy one nighters for me after that.  I still crinkle my nose at the thought, but it's the reality of being a bit of a slutty girl.  First serious boyfriend, Mike :)  Five years together, but hit that point of where you either get married or break up, and since most of our phone conversations in the end went something like this "What do you want to do?"  "i don't know, what do you want to do?"  It was a no brainer that being 80 at 24 was not acceptable, so I re-embraced singlehood.  Then there was Wayne, and as my friend Bianca would point out "You did WHAT on Michelle's desk??"  We totally did it on our boss's desk!  LOL  He was also "totally doing it" with at least one other girl at work.  Just to be a bitch, I also "totally did it" with HER and her boyfriend LOL What goes around...then there was Mike2...we played volleyball together and kept on having sex even when his highschool sweetheart and him re-committed to one another. LOL Then...I met Nigel at a party.  He was rocking the English accent and was a complete card/pool shark.  We caught a ride home together and he also rode the subway 12 stops in the wrong direction to keep talking to me.  We had lunch, went for a long walk and had our first kiss by a tombstone of a Celtic cross, name Greig, and made out in the cemetary.  Kiss of death.  A few months later I had the "flu", he left for England on a Monday, found out about my daughter on the Thursday.  Sigh.  It's beena wild ride.  Three years later, I was at work one day and I was doing a plan-o-gram on the ink wall and my boss introduced me to a new hire.  Instant connection, but not really anything either one of us gave credence to. (Him, engaged and me nine years older with child/impossible relationship).  We played jokes on one another and flirted (I had a couple of people ask me if anything was going on, but there never was).  He left town, we didn't speak.  Caught up with one another on Facebook.  He, newly single, came back to town, we talked, couldn't really work around my situation...he waited a month after that to propose to the girl he broke up with and married her four months later on my birthday.  Ahhhhhh...gotta love Love.  Hey!  Melanie Griffith married Don Johnson TWICE (that's worse than a Norman!), and met Antonia Banderas when she was 37.  So...I just have a year left to wait :)