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October 08, 2014

15 Stupid-Funny Jokes


My dad is a police officer and I was on a ride-along with him. He and his partner arrested a guy for shoplifting. As the perp, whose name is “Unique,” is sitting in the back of the car, my dad walks up, looks at me smiling, and says to the suspect “how do you catch a unique criminal?

Unique up on em!” He and his partner laughed and high-fived, then just shut the door.

Whenever someone says, “I’m going to call my friend,” I always respond with, “what are you going to call him?” Every damn time.

Today we were going to the library and my teacher said that we would take a left when we got in there. Just to confirm that we knew, she asked: “So, which way do we turn when we enter the library?” And after everyone repeated left, she said “Right!”

So I asked, “Which one is it?”… … She didn’t understand why my friends and I were all laughing.