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October 27, 2015
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SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!

Snapping into a Slim Jim is one of life’s simple pleasures. It’s an event worth savoring each and every time it happens and is definitely something you should never apologize for.

Well, almost never. Here are eight very specific Slim Jim-stances that, should they ever happen to you, you should absolutely apologize.


Because it magically caused a genie to appear and it hurts him when you do that.


Because your wish was to “watch football” and now your accountant is probably dead.


Because there’s a framed painting of a naked man holding a sword on your wall and that man is you.


Because you panned in too tight and upset your genie.


Because you made an old Polish Woman curse.


Because while you were having a good time, your wife got stuck eating some other Polish woman’s goat.


Because you couldn’t be bothered to look your friends in the eye.


Because you didn’t bring enough to share.

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