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Published: August 07, 2013
Description: A few basic commands for users of the Google Glasses.


Okay, glasses:

  • deodorize
  • pick my nose
  • scratch and sniff
  • particularly the crotch
  • now tickle the twat
  • smell the bleu cheese between her toes
  • lick it
  • wipe the dribble from the toilet seat
  • take it up a notch
  • you know, augment it
  • weave a dream
  • make a wish
  • blow out the candles
  • blow it out your ass
  • tell the obnoxious cretin on the subway to shut the fuck up
  • extend middle finger with hand upside down and say, “¿Oyes eso?” Then slowly rotate hand right-side up with middle finger still extended while simultaneously saying, “¿Quieres subirlo?”
  • laugh out loud
  • take it all in, bro—it’s yours
  • eat shit
  • don’t forget to floss