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Published October 18, 2012 More Info »
1 Funny Votes
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Published October 18, 2012

I'm a shy person, and I am not ashamed of it. Social situations give me anxiety, and I find it difficult to have a conversation with someone I don't know or to a large group of people, but why is that an issue? I tend to blush more than the average person, and I tend to stay at home a lot more than the average person, but do you really need me dancing awkwardly at "da clubz"?

I've learned over the years that stigmas tell me it is not only wrong to be introverted, but I need to change if I want to succeed at anything I do. I can agree that this might be true if you want to manage people, and it certainly makes networking easier, but for the most part that is a big pile of BS served to me by the outgoing people who don't understand introversion.

As a performer, I put on a mask (literally or figuratively) and can calmly perform in front of hundreds of people. Once I'm on stage, it doesn't bug me. What really stresses me out, is the pre-show and post-show banter where I have to talk to people as myself. I don't get worried about people judging me, it's just simply the  pressure of saying "hi" when I have nothing more to say. Now, if I were to go up, say "hi," pause, and walk away, this would also be bad. I've learned that lesson the hard way. Now I've learned to ramble about nothing and sound like an idiot in order to be accepted into normal society.

After my experience in customer service, I've developed a character that sounds and acts like me, but is bubbly, fun, smiling and conversational. Yes, you could argue that it is my "outgoing side coming through" but I argue that it is simply a character. My true self does not need to smile when you call me a bitch, my true self doesn't have a slightly high voice, and my true self would rather not talk just to fill silences.

Every person that tells me (directly or indirectly) that being shy is a negative attribute is always the outgoing person, and most typically the person who will say "Look, Jackie's blushing!"

As a side note, you do not need to tell me what my face is doing, I can clearly feel it. The pure heat that my face creates at the moment of redness can warm every single tiny kitten ever left in a box on the side of a road on a cold, rainy night. And the sweat? Yeah, that can fill every Great Lake in this country.  Thank you for making everyone stare and laugh at me. You're still a dick head, go die.

I truly believe we live in a society where people are not interested in understanding other people's point of view. We live in a society where people just want everyone to be the same as them, no questions asked. If everyone was the same and never tried to understand others' motives, do you think Law & Order would still be on the air? Would you know who Ghandi is? Do you think air bud would be playing soccer, or would he be eating a Big Mac instead?

In my perfect world, the outgoing people wouldn't point me out for blushing, being quiet in a group of people, and instead of casual Friday, it was simply "PJ Day everyday!"


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