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October 24, 2012

A review of the "movie" Paranormal Activity 4

Paranormal Activity 4
(this may have spoilers so beware)

I recently saw Paranormal Activity 4 and the easy thing to just say is "the scariest thing about this movie is that is cost $9". How ever this movie is soooooo bad that is it kind of beautiful.
First off it is pretty nice of this ghosts to haunt nothing but rich people. People who all have at least 8 cameras or 6 laptops.

People that all have alarm systems but for some reason never locked their doors. People that are smart enough to know that they have ghosts in their homes but dumb enough to walk into a dark room when they hear a noise. People that have time to watch 8 hours of film from 6 different cameras in one day but not enough time to just leave.

But we are getting off track here. P.A.4 jumps right in with the bullshit. The movie starts off with a family agreeing to take a kid from a woman who they don't even know while she is "sick". The daughter of this family being that she most be the smartest person on earth is already on to the fact that the kid must be at the very least a demon of some kind. So she ask her b.f (who looks like he would end up on dateline to be dating this girl) to hook up all of the laptops to record all day and all night so she can prove her point.
Now I am not very good with computers but I do wonder what program he has to record from 6 laptops non-stop and get all of the video to his laptop. Not only that but he also hides some of the laptops so that her family does not know that they are on video. What kind of family not only have 6 laptops but have enough that they could be hidden and they won't even question where the missing laptops are? But once again we are getting off track.
Once all of the C.I.A cameras are set up the movie really gets going. We have a nice 8 min part all about the X-box Kinect. (Hot Tip: If you ever think you have a ghost of some kind in your house get a Kinect. For some reason ghosts will only stay in the room with the Kinect.)
Lets fast forward. The father and daughter were almost killed. Both attacks were caught on video but for some reason they choose not to share the video with anyone the next day( In their defense they do have 24 hours of video to go though everyday)but rather be ok with the mother just thinking they are crazy. So shock of the year the mother is killed the next day while the daughter and father are out to dinner not talking about both of them almost being killed by a ghost the night before. The B.F comes over only to have his neck broke. The dad after din din with his whore of daughter thinks now is a good time(around midnight) to go over and talk to the mother of the demon child to ask her if she has anything to do with what is going on. The daughter calls her b.f's phone which for some reason never goes to voicemail. Which helps her find his body. Now is this by far my favorite part. She runs accross the street (kept in mind she has a phone to call 911 or to just run somewhere else other then the 2 places with ghosts and demons that are killing your family.) to save her dad (I guess I don't know). She gets in there only to see her dad get dragged down the hall which makes her change her mind about saving him (I guess I don't know). Now she jumps out a window and runs into a whole group of witches or demons or ghosts that she can now see (I guess) and then.............THE END.
Now during the end credits they feel the need to tell people that P.A.4 is based off of the first P.A. Now if you are this dumb to have to be told this information then you probably think you just watched the best movie of your life.
I guess to sum all of this up into one sentence it would......."the scariest thing about this movie is that is cost $9".
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