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www.elizabayne.com
15 Funny Votes
3 Die Votes
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Published June 19, 2011


Every once in a while a film comes along that disturbs you to your core.  It will shape your evening and, quite possibly, your life.

For me, that movie was Requiem for a Dream.

I had never seen it before.

“Oh my God! You’ve NEVER seen Requiem for a Dream before????”

No. I’ve NEVER seen Requiem for a Dream before. Hello???? Scroll up. 

“Oh god… THAT movie… make sure you watch it with a friend… make sure you’re not doing anything afterwards… make sure you have kleenex… make sure you’re in a good headspace… make sure the barometric pressure is low… etcetera and etcetera.”

What the Shyamalan was the deal???  All these instructions… for a MOVIE?  Was this like The Ring?  Was I going to die in seven days after watching it?  What was going to happen to me??  I was eerily fascinated.  It couldn’t be worse than Kids?  Or Saw?  Or Showgirls?  Could it?

Ohhhhhhhh but it COULD, my fine feathered friends… it COULD.  And it was. 

I was ballsy going in, I must say. I scoffed at the idea of watching it with someone else, and I shunned any kleenex. I mean, PLEASE. It’s ONLY a movie. I didn’t even have any SNACKS for effsakes!!! Nope. “I am going in RAW,” I exclaimed, fist to the air. “It is so ON!!!”

You know how amusement parks always have that one scary ride that you exit wobbly from, proud  you conquered it, only to find yourself running for the nearest trash can moments later?  THIS was the Requiem for a Dream ride.

I’m ok… I’m ok… I’m… BARF.

Big ups to director Darren Aronofsky for creating this new combo of vomitous heart-punching misery, SUPER SIZED. Yeah. Thanks a lot, pal.

I can’t believe this is the SAME guy who directed that craptastic voyage, The Fountain

If you’ve already seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about. But for those of you who haven’t yet: Make sure you watch it with a friend, have lots of kleenex and are in a good headspace.

Oh, and say no to drugs.

BIG TIME.

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