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October 30, 2014
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We examine all the myths and truths about flu shots.

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As flu season approaches, it’s time for everyone to get a flu shot. Some are hesitant, however, due to all the myths out there about flu shots and the flu itself. We’re here to set the record straight:

Myth
Truth
Flu vaccines can cause you to get the flu. You can only get the flu from having a weak will and no self-confidence.
Washing your hands is the best defense. Flu shots are the best defense - you don’t need to wash your hands unless you’re a doctor.
There is no treatment for the flu. Tamiflu + constantly screaming “Flu don’t fly with ME!" clears it up in 1-2 weeks.
You definitely won’t get the flu after receiving a flu shot. Some influenzas are too fuckin’ balls-to-the-wall to be stopped.
The flu vaccine will give your child autism. You’re thinking of premarital sex.
Strong men should get a flu shot in each arm. They just need one like the rest of us, but you have to jam it into their neck when they aren’t looking.
You can get the flu from Grizzly Bears. Close, but Grizzly Bears are in fact the only worthy fighter of the flu, as they invented Vitamin C.
Flu shots taste delicious. Don’t drink flu shots - either use a needle or snort it.
"Getting a flu shot," is slang for getting humped in the arm by a man with a tiny dick. That’s actually called a "Mosquito Machine Gun."
Cold weather causes the flu. The flu most forms when a wet child sneezes into the open mouth of a caring adult. It’s either that or premarital sex.
Myth: Flu vaccines can cause you to get the flu.


Truth: You can only get the flu from having a weak will and no self-confidence.





Myth: Washing your hands is the best defense.


Truth: Flu shots are the best defense - you don’t need to wash your hands unless you’re a doctor.





Myth: There is no treatment for the flu.


Truth: Tamiflu + constantly screaming “Flu don’t fly with ME!" clears it up in 1-2 weeks.





Myth: You definitely won’t get the flu after receiving a flu shot.


Truth: Some influenzas are too fuckin’ balls-to-the-wall to be stopped.





Myth: The flu vaccine will give your child autism.


Truth: You’re thinking of premarital sex.





Myth: Strong men should get a flu shot in each arm.


Truth: They just need one like the rest of us, but you have to jam it into their neck when they aren’t looking.





Myth: You can get the flu from Grizzly Bears.


Truth: Close, but Grizzly Bears are in fact the only worthy fighter of the flu, as they invented Vitamin C.





Myth: Flu shots taste delicious.


Truth: Don’t drink flu shots - either use a needle or snort it.





Myth: "Getting a flu shot," is slang for getting humped in the arm by a man with a tiny dick.


Truth: That’s actually called a "Mosquito Machine Gun."





Myth: Cold weather causes the flu.


Truth: The flu most forms when a wet child sneezes into the open mouth of a caring adult. It’s either that or premarital sex.












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