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June 23, 2016
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For the second time in as many weeks, tragedy has struck, this time in the animal kingdom as Tutu, a rare, 35 year-old giant baby white rhino was mercilessly gunned down by an American lawyer in Namibia who later bragged about the atrocity and displayed pictures of himself and the dead beast on social media.

For the second time in as many weeks, tragedy has struck, this time in the animal kingdom as Tutu, a rare, 35 year-old giant baby white rhino was mercilessly gunned down by an American lawyer in Namibia who later bragged about the atrocity and displayed pictures of himself and the dead beast on social media.

The AP reports that Porter J Wagoner III from Texas, paid over $250,000 for the privilege of shooting Tutu in cold blood, leaving it’s calves without a mother. The baby rhino was only 35 years old. Wagoner spared the lives of the calves for now, but vowed to return in a few years time when the dead baby rhino’s calves have grown and thus will make more impressive trophies.

Media outlets from around the world scrambled to divert reporters, staff and other resources away from Orlando and war-torn Syria when news of the execution first came to light. Experts believe that this could finally be the event that brings about the much needed gun control legislation called for by so many after massacres like Sandy Hook, Orlando and now with the Giant Baby Rhino Assassination. As public outrage swells in the wake of this latest gun related nightmare, many believe that congress is sure to demand more severe limitations regarding high-power weapons like the one that took the life of Tutu and bitter court battles are sure to follow.

Wagoner, 53, Tweeted pictures and boasted about how many shots it required to fell the majestic huge baby rhino.

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World leaders have been gathering at what will be known as the Namibia Rhino Summit (NRS) to discuss what immediate steps should be taken to ensure gun violence will never again claim the life of any rare baby animal, much less a huge, 35 year-old baby white rhino. Upon hearing the news, president Obama quickly boarded Air Force One in Orlando where he was comforting victims of the Orlando shooting and set off at once for Namibia and the NRS.

Mr. Wagoner has been unavailable for comment and has promised to secure the most expensive defense council that ground-up rhino horn can buy. Analysts agree it is still too soon to tell what this latest death will mean politically in the months preceding the election. For now it seems that both parties have indicated that they will use Tutu’s demise to further their own cause either directly or otherwise. For now, animal lovers can only weep and console one another after yet another example of how our humanity is falling away little by little.

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