With chapters titled “The End of White America” and “The White Party,” readers of Pat Buchanan’s new book might theink that the former presidential candidate is calling for a race war at worst or resegregation at best. Well, he probably is, but there's another, more personal problem at work here. Buchanan's out of white paint. White paint to whitewash history, to coat Black America with a glossy sheen; a fresh coat for the Jews and Arabs. White paint to cover the black streets and black beans – the Chicago Blackhawks and the Cleveland Browns! Why, with enough white paint he could finally get the Black Hills and Blacksburg – they’ve been a thorn in his palate for years.
I, for one, feel for Buchanan. It must be terrible to have such a love of white, and to be so short of white paint. So please, America, send Pat Buchanan your white paint today! Have it delivered to MSNBC.