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June 07, 2011

Ten signs your girlfriend is definitely fucking other people

1.  Her pussy smells too good (Stripper Syndrome)

2.  Her girlfriend "really needs me right now" at least once a week.

3.  She doesn't want to meet your family.

4.  She's good at feigning interest when you talk about how much you hate your job and your asshole boss.  While she's pretending to listen to you, she's thinking about the 11" hose she's been straddling every lunch break for the past 3 months.  The owner of this third leg happens to be your asshole boss you can't stop whining about.

5.  She's happy

6.  She wants to take a cooking or pottery making class.  This is just an excuse to be away from you and hopefully meet someone a bit more creative and interesting.  God you're boring.

7.  You can't understand a word she says over the phone.  You're convinced it's the poor reception in your apartment, but really it's just the dick in her mouth.  

8.  She's reading instruction manuals while your having sex on your weekly date night.  Although date night only happens about once every three weeks due to all the newfound activities she's involved in.  The main activity being sex with anybody other than you.

9.  She's not negative anymore.  She's HIV positive.

10.  New panties