Men of the World, welcome to a new, state-of-the-art media experience. For years, women on this planet have enjoyed many popular-style songs that were made just for them. Songs like Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman” and Destiny’s Child’s “Independent Woman.” But what about Men? There are millions of them out there who wish to enjoy these same exact songs but are unable to because they are not for them. Well, men, suffer no more! Finally, we are proudly putting the interests of men first and have created “Songs For Men: Volume 1.”
Listen to the first track and we think you’ll get an idea of just how revolutionary this is.
That’s right, we have taken a popular song for women and seamlessly inserted the word “man” in place of the word “woman.” We know what you are thinking: “finally.” And, fellas, it doesn’t end with Shania Twain, not by a long shot. Check out this next clip by soon-to-be-man-favorite Katy Perry.
What once was a “females-only” message about the thrills of casual lesbianism is now a male-empowerment anthem about a woman who dared to kiss a man … and liked it. Next up, we take an exclusionary and divisive “girl power” anthem from the ’90s and fix it so that it celebrates men in a powerful way.
Can’t get enough of this new dude-friendly Gwen Stefani? Then you’re going to love this next “man-jam.”
Now that shit is bananas … or should we say mananas. And the technology doesn’t just work for white women! Check out how well it works repairing this female empowerment anthem from Destiny’s Child.
Amazing, right? And “Songs For Men” isn’t just for big-blockbuster fem-tunes either! Did you go to a small, liberal arts women’s college? Then you gotta know this next song.
What was once a militaristic, feminist call-to-arms is now a male-ist masterpiece. At last, a theme song for male camaraderie! But hey, Songs For Men isn’t all preachy-preachy, it’s also for a little fun in the sun! This next summer jam tests the limits of our technology as it totally reimagines another Katy Perry song, swapping out not just the word “girls” but also a whole lot more.
So what do you say, fellas? Are you feeling a little more included in popular culture? Hell yeah, bros!
So there you have it, Songs For Men: Volume 1. You’re welcome! Let’s leave you with one last bonus track where we have a little fun and take a song back from the other bitches that rule the world, dogs!