Full Credits

Stats & Data

21Funny
7Die
1,800
Views
June 19, 2015
Published
Description

It's been over 36 hours since the a gunman killed nine innocent churchgoers in their space of worship in the name of white supremacy. You would think this has been adequate time for the Confederate flag flying in front of the South Carolina capitol building to be lowered. Yeah, you would think that.

Late Wednesday evening a young man entered Charleston, South Carolina’s Mother Emmanuel Church, joined in a prayer group for over an hour with members of the historically black church’s congregation, then pulled out a gun that had been a birthday gift to him and murdered nine innocent people.Dylann Roof, the 21-year-old white murderer, when told by Tywanza Sanders, a man he would kill moments later, that he did not have to do what he was about to do, Roof responded, “Yes. You are raping our women and taking over the country.” He then proceeded to shoot and murder nine people, then flee the building.

The events of Wednesday evening were horrific and as more details come out about the attack and of Roof’s white supremacist ideologies,the whole event becomes even more difficult to process. A young five-year-old girl played dead amongst the slain bodies in hopes Roof would not kill her, too. The victims were prominent community members, mothers, government leaders, and young college graduates. Each of their backgrounds were beautiful and unique,especially in contrast to Roof’s, which is becoming all too familiar: a young white man indoctrinated within a systematically racist society that is telling him he is fundamentally more deserving of life and the pursuit of happiness than black people, and that when black people succeed and work towards their own fulfillment it is an encroachment and attack on him, personally.

The nation joined the state of South Carolina in mourning the loss of innocent lives and holding the victims’ families and communities in thought and prayer. At the state capitol, the South Carolina flag and the American flag have been lowered to half-mast after this tragedy. (Upon publishing this article, the Confederate flag, which for some reason flies above the South Carolina capitol building is still at full mast, but I am sure by the time this article goes up, it’ll be respectfully lowered.)

Politicians and community leaders have visited the grieving town and President Obama spoke about our country’s immediate need for safer gun laws.

[EDITOR’S NOTE] 11:30pm EST Thursday, June 18th The Confederate Flag is still at full-mast. We will wait to publish this piece tomorrow, when hopefully it’ll be lowered.

[EDITOR’S NOTE] 8:00am EST Friday, June 19th, The Confederate flag which historically endorses the violence committed in Wednesday’s attacks is flying above the United States of America’s flag. We do want to publish this piece today, but geeze-louise, we really wanted to give the capitol building an opportunity to not come across as mortifyingly inconsiderate.

[EDITOR’S NOTE] 8:05am EST Friday, June 19th, Wait a second. Why on earth is the Confederate flag even flipping near the state capitol?! What is it doing there?! Take it the fuck down and out. It has no right to be boldly flying in disrespect of the nine innocent black lives lost under its name.

[EDITOR’S NOTE] 8:16am EST Friday, June 19th After doing some research, it turns out that the Confederate flag flying nearby the capitol building, had formerly been on the capitol itself, and moved to the Confederate war memorial across the street. Okay, well then surely the people there ought to be embarrassed that they still have it at full mast and will be lowering it shorty.

[EDITOR’S NOTE] 8:20am EST Friday, June 19th Whoa whoa whoa, hold up. It turns out that upon moving the flag to the war memorial,which was an entire political process itself, some bigot Republican legislator to say ON RECORD, “Quit looking at the symbols. Get out and get a job. Quit shooting each other. Quit having illegitimate babies” in response to black people asking for the flag to be removed. But that was in 1997 and surely in the wake of this thoughtless act of violence the flag can be lowered or for God’s sake removed.

[EDITOR’S NOTE] 8:30am EST Friday, June 19th JUST KDDING!!!!!! THE FLAG LEGALLY CANNOT BE REMOVED OR LOWERED WITHOUT 2/3 OF THE SOUTH CAROLINA EXECUTIVE ASSEMBLY VOTING AND WHEN MEMBERS OF THAT ASSEMBLY ARE SPEWING GARBAGE, LIKE WHAT WAS QUOTED EARLIER, I FEEL LIKE THAT MIGHT NOT BE AN EASY VOTE. I SAY, WE JUST GO DOWN TO COLUMBIA, SC AND LOWER IT OURSELVES.

[EDITOR’S NOTE] 8:32am EST Friday, June 19th AHAHAH! WHEN THE FLAG POLE WAS INSTALLED IT WAS DONE WITHOUT A PULLEY. THAT MEANS THAT THE FLAG LITERALLY PHYSICALLY CANNOT BE LOWERED TO HALF-MAST AND THAT THE ONLY WAY TO REMOVE THE FLAG IS TO CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE FLAG POLE. HEY, CONFEDERATE FLAG DEFENDERS, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT IT IS LITERALLY INSANE TO GIVE A FLAG THAT MUCH PROTECTION. YOU’RE PROTECTING IT LIKE IT’S A YOUNG WHITE BOY WHO SHOT AND MURDERED NINE INNOCENT CHURCHGOERS. Oh, yes, while I was getting carried away with this whole flag debacle, I forgot to mention that Dylann Roof was caught. Did I write caught? I meant the police came to his home, probably respectfully knocked on the door,handed him his own personal bullet proof vest, and kindly escorted him out WITHOUT HANDCUFFS to the police vehicle. So I guess he wasn’t caught, so much as asked to come outside and play. Also, here is a great visual reminder of how the police arrested a black man who was selling loose cigarettes. Did I write arrest? I meant killed. Sorry.

[EDITOR’S NOTE] We’re done giving you chances to correct yourself, racist apologists. There is no kindness in your heart.

Advertisement