Okay, yesterday I turned 50 and still my AARP card has not arrived. Oh they are getting a letter from me! I swear, I am hiking my pants up to my armpits and I will sit right down at my Smith Corona portable manual typewriter and one finger bang out a scathing epistle! These Bozos are messing with the wrong honcho, kiddies! And they better send me a coupon for FREE Doughnuts! Number One on my SHITLIST will be AARP. Now, just as soon as I remember what I am ranting about, I'll type that letter after my nap.