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November 04, 2016
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With the possibility of a Donald Trump presidency somehow still an actual thing, it's important for voters to understand what he would do during his first 100 days in office ... assuming the Earth lasts for that long.

With the possibility of a Donald Trump presidency somehow still an actual thing, it’s important for voters to understand what he would do during his first 100 days in office … assuming the Earth lasts for that long.

- Repeal Obamacare. Replace with healthcare system comprised entirely of “sexy nurses”

- Host FBI “Thank You” pancake breakfast

- Implement “Taco Bowl Tuesdays”

- Implement “Mass Deportation Wednesdays”

- Hold “Vodka Summit” with Putin to discuss totally legit top secret business deals so you should stop asking questions!

- Transform the South Lawn into a luxury golf course. Replace fountain with nude sculpture of Ivanka.

- Schedule meeting with Chris Christie to discuss role in administration. Keep rescheduling.

- Read 10 angry subtweets from American citizens every morning. Then sue each of them.

- Follow up with Mexico regarding unpaid wall invoice

- Nominate Supreme Court Justice Scott Baio

- Drain an actual swamp

- Imprison Hillary (reason TBD). Anderson Cooper too.

- Learn how Government works. (Watch Schoolhouse Rock)

- Start a Twitter war with North Korea

- Start an actual war with North Korea

- And China. Also, Iceland. Total loser country.

- Build luxury nuclear bunker to ride out World War III. Make Mexico pay for it.

- Blame Muslims and/or Paul Ryan for subsequent zombie apocalypse

- Begin mass deportation of zombies

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