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June 04, 2011

Breaking Governator News

  Now that California's first lady/skeleton has been officially cheated on, supporters are wondering when she will be adopting an African baby.  C.O.W. (Cheated On Women) President and spokesperson Sandy Bullock, is pushing hard to recruit Shriver.  "Maria Shriver would be an invaluable asset to our growing organization of cheated on women.  We want to give these betrayed women a voice and a black baby to show these men that we've moved on."

  Recent studies conducted at the Pew Research Center, show a growing number of high profile women being cheated on every quarter, the last 6 years.  Within these studies, scientists were able to pinpoint high risk situations and warning signs.  According to their findings, it is not a good idea to marry a tatted-up bike mechanic (Bullock), a body builder/action star (Shriver), or a French Point Guard (Eva Longoria).  This study also rendered fascinating results on the type of women more likely to get cheated on;  Women that don't give blow jobs, women that are insecure actresses, and women that are really boring.    

  Citizens of California are just now realizing that the Governor's wife is Maria Shriver, the best-selling author and journalist from the Kennedy clan.  Martin Valazquez of Bakersfield, CA said, "I had no idea who was governor, but when I found out Arnold was running the state I was like, 'That's awesome', then I was like, 'Wait really?'.  Then I heard he was married to Skelator and I was like, "Shouldn't she be the governor?".  Oh well, surf's up bro.  Hang ten."

  The governor's estate at Castle Greyskull is a dark and gloomy place this May morning.  We asked both Moss Man and Ram-Man to comment on the recent turmoil between the governor and Skelator.  Moss Man was too choked up to speak, but Ram-Man spoke for all the Masters of the Universe when he said, "Nuh-uh.  No he di-int. Nuh uh.  Daaaang.  Yo he dead.  I'm a fuck Commando up.  I'm a ram that cheatin' mothafucka with my head and shit.  Look at my head.  I can ram shit with it and I'm a ram him."