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January 24, 2013

This is what people want to watch.

Reality shows are stupid.  Here are some more eloquent ideas. 


  • "Who Wants To Bathe a Fat Guy" Who's the best at bathing a fat guy?  Many think they can claim the title.  Contestants endure gruling challenges mostly consisting of bathing smaller fat guys, until the final challenge where the last two must bathe a very large fat guy.
  • "Who's the Racist Now?" Self-explanatory.  Throw some old, white racists in Chicago and Detroit.  Toss some black racists in Vermont. 
  • "I Wanna Love a Robot" Eduardo, the sexy Latin robot, is eligible and hunky.  Twenty incredibly dumb, fake bitches stay a week in a science lab and try to have sex with him. 
  • "You Can't Wear Makeup Bitch!" Find the fakest women, who are notoriously known for caking on makeup.  Make them stay a month at the bottom of a well with no toiletries.  Occasionally small children are to be sent down to tell the ladies how unattractive they look.  Perhaps also throw some feces at them.
  • "The Whitest Black Guy" Who IS "The Whitest Black Guy"?
  • "The Ghettoest White Girl" A bunch of hoodrat honkies believe they're the the ghettoest white girl.   Lucky for the viewers they're slowly killed off one-by-one.
  • "Scarecrow Love" Fifteen disturbed souls from across America all share the same issue:  They're sexually attracted to scarecrows.  Luckily that prick Dr. Drew has some time to help these poor strawlovers.  Eight weeks of intense challenges and temptations from sexy scarecrows separate these people from their goal of maybe being acceptable human beings.   
  • "Love Frankly" Women compete for the love of this great looking, wealthy guy named Frank.  At the end of the season he chooses his lover.  It's then revealed that Frank is actually a hot dog. 
  • "My Kid's Fat"  It's kind of like the Holocaust, but for obese children. 
  • "Huntin' Season" Hunters love huntin'.  Twenty of the best hunters (whatever the shit that means) think they're staying in the cabin to compete for best hunter.  Turns out they're just locked in with a bunch of rabid warthogs and black gangmembers.
  • "Board Game Champion" These guys think they're the best at boardgames.  They're more than prepared to show off their abilities in a variety of games.  Little do they know they're actually involved in an informational piece entitled "Virgins will be Virgins (Forever)".