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October 28, 2008


In an unprecedented move, Major League Baseball canceled the 2008 World Series today, citing "overwhelming lack of interest."

This year's contest, featuring the Philadelphia Phillies and some other team, will be the first-ever World Series to be yanked before completion, but in the words of one baseball executive, "We're fairly sure no one will notice."

The decision to pull the plug on the Series came last night after the fifth game of the contest was rain-delayed and suspended with the score standing at something to something.

Some guys were on base and another guy was pitching when the rains came, but no one in the stadium showed a flicker of interest in the outcome.

"Enough already," said baseball commissioner Bud Selig. "Let's put this thing out of its misery."

At Fox Broadcasting, executives were reportedly "deliriously happy" about the cancellation of the low-rated Series and immediately announced plans to replace it with reruns of Family Guy and House.

In Philadelphia, slugger Ryan Howard was philosophical about the decision to pull the Series: "I wasn't really following it -- who was ahead, anyway?"

Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com.