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May 28, 2017

The selfie and the MemoryTag card were meant for each other.

This is the golden age of self-loving narcissism and the selfie, so why not celebrate your own disgusting superficial preoccupation with yourself with a MemoryTag Greeting Card?

MemoryTag and the selfie were ideas that like two spoiled and rotten malicious shallow and selfish celebrities who get married—- were meant for each other—-at least temporarily until a divorce.

Recently in the deepest darkest jungle of Borneo or someplace like it a tiny cell phone was found on the ground. When it was discovered and picked up off the ground a picture of a monkey appeared—he had taken a selfie.

Everybody now takes a selfie except me. I have no reason to attempt to celebrate the face that I was given and had no choice in picking and I blame my parents for it but that’s another story I’ll go into later. Besides if you don’t like the way you look you can do something about it.

Take a selfie.

Are you the kind of person who has a nose so big the air it stores alone could provide you with life for a week? Are you the kind of person whose nose is of such proportions that kids called you “Banana Nose” or more cruel people “Nose… (the F word)?”

Simply hold your cell phone high over your head as much as possible pointing straight down. This will minimize as much as possible the protuberance the size of an airplane wing you call your nose. Does your nose arrive somewhere a half hour before the rest of you?

Now you can download the MemoryTag app on your smart phone and record a video message intended for a girl you hope to date and place it on the small patch on the MemoryTag card. She also downloads the app and opens the card and views your message and she sees you with your now smaller (taken from above) nose.

She agrees to go out with you until you show up at her door all dressed up and then she sees you for real and says, “I’m not going out with you.”

You ask way?

“With that cucumber?” (your nose). She slams the door.

You see! By taking a selfie and using the MemoryTag card you just avoided a shallow, superficial vicious person who would have, even if you had gotten lucky with her, eventually made your life a living hell, cheating on you with other men, spending your money like there’s no tomorrow, emasculating you in cruel ways by figuratively removing your testicles.

A good woman wouldn’t judge you simply by your nose.

Women too you can use a MemoryTag card and a smartphone to find out if the guy they are interested in is a narcissistic self-obsessed,abusing, two-bit waste of skin.

Here’s what you do you women out there:

Do a test. Film a selfie of yourself saying romantic things and place it on a MemoryTag card and send it to a guy you’re interested in.

How he responds with his video card will tell you everything.

If he for example tells you “I’m not that kind of boy,” this is good and bad, good because he has a code of chivalric honor, bad because he thinks he’s a boy not a man. However, perhaps you’re a woman who wants a boy because you have a psychological mothering complex, or who finds naughty boys charming, then it would still be good and bad because he said he’s “Not that kind of boy.”

If he responds with some suggestive personal things he shouldn’t, then you can ditch him and tell him you’re, “Not that kind of girl.”

In other words you can use a Memorytag card to save yourself a lot of heartache and pain.

Other techniques in taking a selfie video close-up include baring your teeth and leering suggestively, or again taking a selfie from on-high above your head to exaggerate the size of your eyes and minimize a chin that looks like a shovel.

Even world leaders nowadays take selfies of themselves and this could open up a whole entire world of brand new diplomacy. Think what it could mean if the president could record himself asking the dictator of a rogue state to be reasonable and then after the plea show a scene of utter devastation and smoking ruins and say “This is what’s in store for you if you don’t.”

It has recently been leaked from Washington D.C. that government officials are considering using selfies and MemoryTag cards to deliver prepared communications to the leaders of hostile whacko countries. https://memorytag.cards/.