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Published January 05, 2010 More Info »
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Published January 05, 2010

There’s a lot of hate in the world.

The Nazi’s hate Jews…

The Klu Klux Klan hates Jews…

And even Mel Gibson hates Jews...

I, myself, also have a particular group of people that I hate with all my heart. People that I blame for the problems of society. People that I wouldn’t spit on if they were on fire.

Yes, like the examples above, I hate Jews:

But the group of people I hate has a wider scope. I also hate Blacks:

Mexicans:

Asians:

Gays:

Fat People:

The Elderly:

Transients:

Russians:

Muslims:

Blind People:

And yes -- I even hate White People:

You see, the group of people I hate includes every type of people in the world -- people of every creed, color, and religion. The group of people I hate knows no racial and ethnic boundaries.

I hate Pedestrians.

Pedestrians are the biggest group of inconsiderate assholes on the face of the planet. All they do is walk around and fuck up the flow of traffic.

Living in Los Angeles, I’m constantly falling victim to lackadaisical Pedestrians fucks who force me to slow down -- and in some instances, even stop -- just so they can cross the street.

The worst traffic scenario involves when you’re trying to make a turn -- a left turn being the most challenging -- but you can’t because of a stupid Pedestrian who causes you to lose your turning opportunity.

The three worst example of Pedestrians are:

1) Retarded Person with a metal walker

2) Homeless Guy pushing two grocery carts full of empty cans

3) The Arrogant Shit Head who is more concerned about looking cool while crossing the street than getting to his fucking destination

Because of my hatred towards Pedestrians, whenever I’m forced to travel by foot instead of car, I go out of my way to be courteous to the drivers I cross paths with. I walk quickly -- even sometimes run to cross the street. I’ll often let cars go before me instead of preventing them from making a turn. And sometimes I’ll even avoid crossing the street altogether -- I just go with the sidewalk.

But of course, Pedestrians aren’t so courteous to me when I’m driving.

The only reasonable solution would be for our government to implement the rules of the 1975 movie, Death Race 2000 -- a wonderful utopia where motorists receive points for killing Pedestrians with their cars:

That would be my “final solution.”

And FYI -- besides Pedestrians, I also hate Old People, Republicans, and Religious People of any faith.

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