Full Credits

Stats & Data

May 09, 2014

sometimes you just look in the mirror and think"AGHHHH, AGHHHH, THIS ISN'T MY BODY!". that or just wonder who you are.



I’ll start off by saying that I don’t think that this is comedy website material, and I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really know what to say about this. But you know what, I’ll give it a shot. So I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know who I am, and now I’m trying to figure it all out; And when I say “I don’t know who I am”, I don’t mean that in a “I just got hit by a car and woke up from a coma after 7 months” type of way (even though I really wish that was the case). It’s crazy, and I’ve been pretty okay with not really knowing myself up until say…2 weeks ago? Let’s just say that it’s been 2 weeks. I don’t know what happened, maybe I’m just getting to a point where I need to understand myself in order to really start moving forward in life… or maybe I’m just hungry. 



Or maybe I’m Jennifer Lawrence


Now I don’t want to look like I’m going on my very own “Eat, Pray, Love” journey. Then again, I’m way too poor and not “brink of menopause” woman enough to make that happen, so I guess I don’t have to worry about it. So whatever this dive into self-discovery may be, It will certainly be enjoyable to watch, or at the very least, funny. It’s weird, I see people everyday who seem like they’ve got a really good grasp on who they are. They know what they like, what they don’t like, have opinions about things, have friends that “get” them, know a lot of stuff, etc. I look at these people in amazement for a really long time. Then they call me out for staring at them, and I end up running away to nowhere in particular.



I’ve been ending up in a lot of McDonalds though…


Actually, there are some things that I do know. I know that growing up I always thought that I was going to become a veterinarian. Then in 8th grade, for some reason I stopped being okay with the idea of becoming a vet, moving to the suburbs with my incredibly attractive wife and wonderful children, and then dying in my sleep at the ripe old age of 77. There was something off about that to me. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I wanted to do things that I liked for the rest of my life, and now we’re here. I also know that I was born a man, unless this is just one giant prank that my family has been playing on me, in which case “fuck all of you”.




Maybe not knowing who I am is okay, I mean, I’ve gone 18 ½ years without knowing and have made it through seemingly unscathed. How much does it really matter? Seriously? Like, for real for real? I’m pretty sure that if I knew myself when I was 14, I still would have ended up squat peeing behind a car at night or jerking off in the middle of president Obama’s inauguration speech. Why would I have done either of those things? Well because I had to pee in one situation and was bored in the other that’s why. I’m sure that If I knew the things that made up me, myself, and I; All the experiences that I’ve gone through in life would have been the same. And to be totally honest, As an African American man (or woman if my family is lying to me) who grew up in the heart of Detroit, I surprisingly haven’t gone through a lot. I’ve lived a relatively easy life up to this point. Looking back, I wish I did go through some personal struggles. Maybe if I did then I would have a better understanding of who I am, and wouldn’t have to go through this artsy self discovery bullshit.


I am David Ayala. I’m 18, broke as hell, need to call my family more, really want to make some friends, and currently my farts smell very bad. I love comedy, art, and music; and hopefully I’ll be able to make a living by doing things that I like. I don’t have many opinions on things, not very book smart, don’t like reading, and was born a man (or a woman if my family is lying to me). And like you, there are a lot of things that make me “me”. I don’t know what I’ll do about this whole “journey to find myself” thing, but I think things will work out. I’ll finish off by saying that I don’t think that this is comedy website material. So here’s a funny picture of a dog in a panda suit.