Celebrities See All

Close

Quick Links

or
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Written by Chad Carter
184 Funny Votes
92 Die Votes
24,743 Views
Published January 15, 2009
Just like the Eskimo need many words to describe different kinds of snow, it is useful for the modern self-pleasurer to have many words to describe the sin of Onan.

Roosterbate: masturbation for the purpose of waking up, or greeting the day.

Reminiscibate : memory based masturbation

Pragmatibate: masturbation to rid yourself of a tenacious turgidity, often employed on long distance bus trips

Procrastibate : masturbation for the purpose of putting off more useful activities.

Emobate : An incomplete masturbation due to self loathing

Jurassibate : masturbation to dinosaur related material

Karassibate : group masturbation with fellow readers of Kurt Vonnegut

Debatobate : weighing the pros and cons of whether or not to masturbate

NoBassibate : self-pleasure resorted to when fish aren't biting

Lastibate : the last time you masturbate (theoretical)
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web

More