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Let's not beat around the bush: Johnny Depp is a good-looking man. So when we got a chance to sit down with the star of Benny and Joon, we skipped that topic completely. You deserve more than us preaching to the choir. So, we dug deeper and got right to the meat of what makes Johnny Depp so great: his coolness. And the good he's using that gift for. 

The Hollywood Ham: Hey, Johnny. Big fan. Loved you in Don Juan DeMarco.

Johnny Depp: Oh thank you. Not many people bring that up. It's usually Pirates this or Scissorhands that.

HH: Suck ups. I bet they tell you you're the coolest guy alive, too. 

JD: Some of them. 

HH: Well it's true, you're easily the coolest guy alive. At least out of all the white people. 

JD: It's funny you say that. I've actually been asked to represent white people from now on. 

HH: What do you mean?

JD: Well, any time there's going to be black people at a given event, and someone white needs to make an appearance, I'm the guy. Always.

HH: When did this happen?

JD: At the last meeting. 

HH: What meeting? The white people meeting? 

JD: Yeah. 

HH: Doesn't that sound a little Klan-like?

JD: Don't be so naive. It's where folks like myself, Clooney, and Albert Brooks get together to decide how we want to come off.  

HH: And you were nominated to be the representative?

JD: Came down to me and Robert Downey Jr. 

HH: How'd you end up winning?

JD: Someone claimed to have overheard Downey at the BET awards yapping about the time he went sailing this one time. That's a big faux pas when representing white people among minorities. 

HH: And you've never been sailing? What about Pirates of the Caribbean?

JD: CGI. 

HH: What about the fact that you live in France?

JD: Also CGI.
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