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The other day I saw a movie, although that part is irrelevant. I saw The Decendants, but again, that's not the point here...It was alright, but I thought the writing and acting was lacking off the top. Good, okay, so that's out of my system.

As I entered the theatre, I carried a steaming hot, extra large french vanilla. I love french vanillas, so of course I'm excited to drink it. Yet, as just about a million people file out of a cinema, I can't help but think to myself, "Holy shit. If someone bumps into me I'm fucking spilling this shit all over their shit. Fuck yeah, future me will be all, 'oh no, are you okay?' But in my head, future me will be all, 'ahhhhh yeah, fuck you buddy!'"

I loosened my grip on the cup and strutted by. Nobody bumped into me.

It wasn't until I sat down, I realized that was a strange thing to do.

What science has proven, is that everyone has a crazy gene. Some have bigger crazy genes than others. It's called Crazy Bitch Syndrome. A title given by scientists. And by scientists I mean I came up with the title as I played with some beakers filled with skittles.

And yes, I eventually ate all the skittles.

How can you control Crazy Bitch Syndrome?

You can't. Ride the wave of insanity and let it be a beautiful experience.

Why beautiful?

Because the night I almost singed another human's flesh is the night I became a woman.


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