Full Credits

Matthew for being the other drunk man in underwear. Catlin for being the friend who picked me up at the station on acid. Thank you for making those drunk stories possible.

Stats & Data

August 09, 2011

One who lives life drinking and doing retarded things.

I have found in the history of my life that there is only one word to describe me and that is a tragedy. My life has been a series of unfortunate events.  I know this doesn't sound like this will be funny story but it is. Looking back at all the dumb shit I have done, only makes me laugh now. 

Let me start by saying I am talking about real people in real situations. So many stories like one time I thought it was good idea to get hammered and then mouth of the police in Edmonton only to turn back and see that these officers were running right behind me. My only drunk thought was to run and I did like 8 blocks. I finally stop in alley way across the street from my apartment building when I stopped and I thought I almost made it, let me puke then I can hop into the garbage dumpster. I puked looked up and they had me surrounded. After they checked me they realized I had nothing on me but a pack of smokes and puke on my shirt. My friend later that night picked me up from the station on Acid. Jokes on them he was more fucked up then I was. 

Also another time friend and I walked around the streets of the city of London only in underwear and a backpack with a bottle of whisky, eggs, yogurt, and well that was it. We decided to jump in front of taxi throw eggs at the windows. But after we did, turned around and realized cop was there. So we ran through people's back yard's hoping over big fences just hoping that there wasn't a dog or a pool. You would be surprised how fast you can go drunk in underwear and full of adrenaline. I made it back to the house but sadly my friend had to sleep in a outhouse in hiding for the rest of the night. P.s when you run in only underwear you feel so invincible. 

There you go my 2 drunk stories for you guys to read this week. Next week 2 more funny dumb drunk stories.