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June 06, 2017

We all had that one cool friend who had all the video games and all the video game stuff. He was soooooo cool. His name was probably Anthony.

Back when we were all kids, in the ‘90s, we all had that one friend who had tons of video games, and tons of gear, joysticks, extras, and peripherals to go along with them. His name was Anthony, and he was totally cool, both because he had every video game peripheral and also just because he was. These are all of the things that Anthony had.

1. Power Glove. Of course Anthony had the Power Glove. He had like four of ‘em.

2. Power Fingerless Gloves. Like the Power Glove, but more badass, because they were fingerless. Also, like the Power Glove, they didn’t work all that well, but they looked totally boss. Especially on Anthony.

3. Action Pants. They were whole pants made out of thePower Glove stuff, and they were black and grey, and they were called action pants, and they were sold in stores. You could wear them and dance around and they sort of translated your movements into character controls. Anthony wore them to school one time.

4. Radio Xtreme. A plug-in that turned your Sega Genesis into an AM/FM radio tuner. Anthony liked to listen to the college radio station while he played.

5. Super Mario Kart Steering Column With Ash Tray. They had all kinds of stuff to replicate the driving experience in video games back then, like little steering wheels that plugged into the consoles, or ones with a shifting pedal. Anthony had the super-extra-deluxe one with a steering wheel, faux ignition switch, odometer, speedometer, and ash tray. The box said it was just like the one in Luigi’s kart. Anthony smoked clove cigarettes, just like his dad.

6. Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill Limited Edition Controller. One-part saxophone, one part cat paw, it only worked with the 1994 SNES game about President Clinton’s cat Socks, Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill. Anthony said that Bill Clinton was his uncle, and maybe he was.

7. Quick-Flip. It was like a CD changer, but for video games.It enabled you to quickly flip through them without having to open and close boxes and switch them out. The Quick-Flip held up to 20 Super Nintendo cartridges at once, but the only SNES game Anthony ever really played was HomeAlone 2: Lost in New York because he’d seen the movie with his dad.

8. Game Genie Ultra. It worked like the regular Game Genie in that you could enter cheat codes and stuff, but Anthony had the special one that granted actual wishes. One time you came into Anthony’s house and he didn’t know you were there and you heard him use the Game Genie Ultra to wish for his dad to take him snowboarding.

9. GameBoard. Like an early version of the Wii Fitness board, it was an uneven platform you hooked into a console and you put it on the ground and stood on t when you played surfing and snowboarding games. Whenever Anthony would play with it and get a high score, he’d shout “Did you see that, Dad?” and then would pretend like he hadn’t actually said that.

10. Super Hub. This was a splitter that allowed you to connect to your console as many controllers as you wanted so a big group of people could play those Marvel vs. Capcom games and stuff. You could use it to play with as many as 20 people at one time, and there were a ton of guys at school who totally wanted to do it, but Anthony said his room wasn’t big enough for all those people, even though it totally was. Anthony was pretty cool, but he was actually kind of shy.

11. B.O.B., the Video Game Robot. It came with the original Nintendo Entertainment System and was used to play these disc-stacking and puzzle games and Anthony said it was his “best, oldest, and truest friend.”

12. Super Power Mat. It was one of those wired floor mat controllers, but you couldn’t step on it or jump on it—you still had to use your hands and move around quickly to hit different buttons, and all of them were like 10 feet apart. Anthony lost 20 pounds one summer.

13. VR Sunglasses. These were a wearable peripheral that you put on and the game would surround you to provide an immersive gameplay experience.At least that’s what Anthony said. He’d never let you use these because he said they were “very expensive,” and “a gift from his dad,” and he also never took them off. Fun fact: There is no record on the Internet of these things ever existing. They didn’t exist. They were just some regular sunglasses that Anthony wore because he was cool.

14. Cyrillic Keyboard. Anthony may have been doing some illegal stuff.