Full Credits

Stats & Data

August 30, 2008


My name is Christian J. Whitman. I am a good friend and smoking companion with one, Doctor Norman G. Norman. Because Doctor Norman is such a remarkable person, I feel compelled to transcribe the adventures we shared over the last few years.


I am thirty-two years old and I have lived in the coastal metropolis of S— for my entire life. I currently live in a community I shall call “The Crest.”  It is a peaceful community except for the cars which pass through on their way to overpriced parking downtown, the dogs which are quiet except when they are not (which is most of the time), the homeless people who have decided to not be harassed downtown, the airport, and my neighbors, many of whom believe their music is so good everyone must listen.  It is a melting pot of fragrances in my neighborhood: strong curry, pork, paprika, garlic, oregano, and, occasionally, vomit.


 In short, I live in a typical urban community.


On the positive side, my work is only five miles away so I can walk to work whenever I like.  I work for the County of S— in its Hall of Records and I am responsible for making certain the transition from paper, microfiche, and older electronic media to the new computerized system is seamless and non-intrusive.


I am six-foot tall (not really, I am only 5’11”, but I put an inch into the soles of my shoes to make me seem taller). I have cropped brown hair to go with my brown eyes. My lips were meant to play the flute.


I met Dr. Norman at the local university.  My major was “communications” but I was intrigued by a course titled “Inquiries into Pre-Criminal Behavior.”


He is a tall gentleman in his mid-forties. He has premature white hair which, at times, makes him look older.  His metabolism is remarkably high; it is very rare to see him standing or sitting still.  As a result he is quite thin, though not gaunt, with slight, though strong, muscles.


Doctor Norman is not a medical doctor—though he has an extensive background in forensics.  He is a criminologist by trade and by nature. His masters thesis, “Analysis of the Predisposition to Criminal Behavior in an Over-Populated Rodent Society” won him great praise from law enforcement policy makers.


But Norman was not interested in policy or abstractions or ideology. He is a pragmatist of the first order.  It is his belief that societies cannot be broken down into tidy formulas, but that they must be nurtured as a garden. Pluck the weeds that grow and crowd out other flowers and grass.


Dr. Norman thinks of himself as a gardener—rooting out the weeds of society so that all may live in harmony.  He does this by detecting crime before it happens.


Yes, I know: you think he is psychic.  I assure you he has no special senses or precognition or bouts of clairvoyancy.  We now live in the new age of enlightenment and must put away such superstitious tendencies. No, Dr. Norman uses deductive reasoning and profiling skills to conclude whether a person is predetermined to criminal behavior and which behavior it will be. 


It is for this reason that I transcribe here our adventures and exploits—that others may appreciate his contribution as much as I.


I remain respectfully yours,

Christian J. Whitman