Whether it’s joining the cultish ranks of a sales firm peddling vacuum cleaners door-to-door in the projects, donating plasma for bus fare or painting the graphically homosexual dreams of an eccentric millionaire – Free Lunch is for all whose directionless career paths were plagued with undesirable results from adhering to the age old, non-working class proverb: if it sounds too good to be true, you should stop everything your doing and go do that instead.
Free Lunch portrays the ignorant and bleak existence of Gabe and Pete, a pair of non-college material, high school graduates whose feeble ambitions toward success far exceed their talents, making their transition into adulthood harsh and painfully prolonged. Best friends, still living unwanted in their parents’ houses, Gabe and Pete's destructive relationship of blind leader and blinder follower exposes them to constant unfavorable situations and epic failures. From overdosing rabbits with male sexual enhancement drugs to removing science department body donation tattoos with Brillo pads, running on equal parts of self-assuredness and idiocy has honed their uncanny ability to make the worst of a bad situation.
As a result, the pair are repeatedly entangled in a bizarre web of unsavory characters including former millionaire 80s infomercial hero now living in a hatch back, Tony Deluca and recently paroled former world class table tennis competitor with an extreme propensity towards violence, Marquis Fisher. Despite all these things, Gabe and Pete’s occupational shortcomings have, in the end, made them highly proficient at two things: 1. Accepting failure and 2. Cheating death.
The only semi-sane minutes of their day are spent in Pete’s 1978 T-Bird, hashing out plans, dick-punching each other and screaming obscenities at people with the windows up. Other frequented locations include a bi-monthly job fair held illegally in an out-of-business Pizza Hut Buffet (a mecca of inspiration to them) and a retirement home where Gabe repeatedly impersonates grandkids to borrow money, while Pete attempts to charm his way into a will. Since they spend every waking moment either attending to their vices or pursuing unfruitful get-rich-quick schemes, neither have any money and must often stoop to unspeakable levels of cheapness and depravity for their necessities of survival.
For Gabe & Pete, it’s about dreaming big and dreaming stupid, learning the hard way and then forgetting it immediately. Their tales of stupidity through this modern rite of passage are truly inspiring to all whose uncertainty about what to do with their lives led them to commit heinously stupid acts in the grand search for a seat at the continental breakfast of life.<!--EndFragment-->