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March 03, 2010


Those Were Different Times Contest  #26.

Introducing: REGINALD OWEN and JOE NOVAK  and their album: "the Reluctant Golf Pupil PROFESSIONAL GOLF INSTRUCTION IN SOPHISTICATED HUMOR with Jeanne Carmen"
15. whore ! i mean fore !

14. Includes etiquette tips on allowing groups of men to "play through".

13.5. Reluctant Golf Pupil? She looks pretty willing to whack balls to me
13. S & M w/Tee's???

12. "Yeah but she wasn't all that reluctant with the ski instructor *rim shot*...or the tennis coach *bass slide*...and don't even get me started on her French lessons..."
Just a sample of Joe Novak's sophisticated humor. It also works if you read it in Jay's voice.

11.75. Golf is a waste of a good wank.........er I mean walk
11.5. Humour isn't Humour unless it's sophisticated or spelt without a 'u'
11. Jeanne Carmen played in Portland Exposé with Frank Gorshin,you sick man
-bigjas (daddy likes his Gorshin, yeah, that's what daddy likes, do it like Gorshin, yeah.)

10.5.5. Later she ran into the Pro shop crying, "What seems to be the trouble?" the pro asked. "I just got stung by a Bee!" she wailed, "Where did it sting you?" "Between the first and second holes" she said. Frowning, he replied "Well, I'll tell you one thing - your stance is too wide!"
10. If she keeps addressing the ball like that she's definitely going to be a hooker.

9.5 Isn't it so-fist-tit-cated humor?
9. It is not possible for Jeanne to keep her left arm straight in her backswing.

8. No means yes.

7.5. The first LP Earl gave Tiger.
7. "There's not one windmill on this course and I'm horny."

6. the Reluctant Golf Pupil: A first hand account of Susie's lazy eye and her passion for golf.

5.5. Reg’ and Joe consider drinking as many Tom Collinses as it takes to rationalize mutual-masturbation in public to be ‘sophisticated humor’.
5. I’d like to have sexual-intercourse with the woman in that picture, if you know what I mean.

4. Step 1. Address the ball.
"Hello Bitch"

3.5 Owen & Novak are currently serving lifetime sentences for abduction, first-degree assault, & playing golf.
3. "Carmen v. Owen / Novak" set the precedent that golfers are born with a misogynistic gene unsurpassed in any other sport / hobby. Except for the National MisogynyBall League.

2. ...with Jeanne Carmen as the perky but ditzy Alotta Fuckin.

1.5. I see that Reginald Owen and Joe Novak get "top" billing. For Jeanne's sake, I hope they're not fat.
1. It usually takes at least two "professionals" when the pupil is "reluctant."