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May 03, 2013

Anthony Weiner, the disgraced former congressman who sent out a lewd picture of himself via Twitter, is in hot water once again after downloading the 50 billionth app and winning Apple's contest.

Two years removed from a scandal, involving a sexually explicit picture sent over twitter, that led to his resignation and public humiliation, lightning struck again for disgraced Ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner. Completely oblivious to the fact that Apple was fast approaching 50 billion App downloads; Weiner downloaded the sex solicitation app Tinder. Just as he began perusing potential mates, Weiner was notified, via call, that he was the lucky man who downloaded the 50 billionth application on Apple’s App Store. Weiner was elated when told that he won a $10,000 App Store Gift Card, but could hardly speak when informed that his name and the winning app he had downloaded were being displayed on Apple’s homepage for all to see. Weiner was in shock. “After the twitter scandal I tossed my phone in the river, who knew the iPad could inflict similar damage upon me?” he pondered. After giving up his senate seat, Weiner worked to repair himself and his image. “In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t of resigned”, Weiner reflected, “It just gave me more free time to chase virtual tail.” Weiner believes there is a silver lining to this incidnet. “Because the public will be so preoccupied with my latest indiscretion, hopefully they will forget about the twitpic incident.” Realizing that running for Mayor of New York City is no longer a viable option, Weiner plans on spending most of his time figuring out what apps to buy.  “$10,000 is a lot of money to spend on apps. I usually stick to the free ones, so it will be nice to explore some of the more costly applications,” Weiner said as he took a picture of his butthole.