New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie on Thursday called for public school teachers to be evaluated based equally on their classroom performance and student achievement and accused the state's largest teachers union of being a group of "bullies and thugs." Yeah! I think we should have a reality show of the teachers union. Imagine it. It’ll be like the Sopranos with algebra lessons. Forget foil an we’ll break your kneecaps!
A New Mexico man drove the decomposing body of his paraplegic friend around for three days, unaware that she was dead despite what others described as an overpowering stench and a horde of flies around the body. Didn’t he think that when his friend didn’t want to go to McDonalds at any point that something was amiss? “Hey, do you feel like a burger?”
And in some IQ news, MTV Confirmed spinoffs for Snooki, Pauly D and JWoww. I’m guessing they don’t go to college in the spinoffs.
In health news, the 17 Day diet plan that promises to help people lose weight for a lifetime has gone viral, after appearing on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter, and even on DVD. Just 17 days folks. In less time than it takes to shut down the government, you can be fit for life. If there’s a DVD, it’s got to work. When I see New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie drop100 lb's then we'll talk.
Sadly, completing a swift rise and fall from TV stardom, controversial host Glenn Beck will lose his once-popular Fox News show later this year, the network announced Wednesday. Glenn…will..cry. But fear not, Glenn has a great career ahead of him, washing Rush Limbaugh’s cars.
And lastly, the Chicago Bulls unveiled a bust of Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen during a halftime ceremony Thursday. Have you seen Scottie Pippen? Scottie Pippen is like a cross between Alice the Goon and mirror Spock. Do we really need a bust of Scottie Pippen? Maybe a nice portrait of Scottie Pippen. Of him dunking. From behind!