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October 21, 2014
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In our Daily Brief, we bring you the stories that even idiots are talking about today.

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South African justice:
Double amputee athlete Oscar Pistorius sentenced to prison for 5 years for killing his girlfriend (story), or as they call that in South Africa the death penalty.


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Au Revoir, Haute Couture:
Legendary fashion designer Oscar de la Renta dies at age 82 (story). First ladies and movie stars will now have no choice but to resume wearing garbage bags and burlap onion sacks.


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Noses hold more than boogers:
Scientists appear to be on the brink of “curing” paralysis with a revolutionary procedure using regenerative cells from nasal tissue (story). So if you’ve been putting off learning how to do backflips off a picnic table, now’s the time.


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Sweden, the world’s hobo-under-a-bridge:
Sweden reports that they recycle an incredible 99% of their waste, primarily via burning their garbage for heat (story). The remaining 1% is quietly bulldozed into a nearby Norwegian fjord.


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Deny this:
2014 is on track to be the hottest year on record (story). Sure is good we solved Global Warming this year with that Climate Change March, huh?


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