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Published September 05, 2012 More Info »
7 Funny Votes
2 Die Votes
Published September 05, 2012

Chuck Norris is American States of the United World's greatest actor, born with stubble so thick it ruined his mom's pocket upon leaving her uterus (which he didn't even need to be in since he was already breathing and feeding himself within her for several prior months).

Charles and his lovely wife, Mrs. Norris, have come forth to warn the people of what awaits them should they re-elect our current president... 1000 years of darkness.  Why so many years?  It comes down to the simple fact that Chuck made a deal with the mole people and Obama refuses to answer his emails.

You see, back in 1012 Chuck Norris (who is a highlander remember) single-handedly beat back a mole people uprising.  The mole king, Jit-linthus, agreed to keep his people peacefully underground for 1000 years.  That treaty is about to expire and Chuck knows he must renew a contract of peace soon or humans will become workers in mole camps far below.  Mitt Romney agreed to talk with the mole king, but alas, President Obama has failed to respond to Chuck's emails and time is running out!

Chuck's only choice was to support Mitt and pray to himself that the non-responsive Obama doesn't get re-elected.

Do you really want to be a worker in a pitch-black mole camp for the next 1000 years?



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