So Close Yet So Far

By Mike Kaddour February 17, 2009 | 13 Views

The atrocious reality I haven't shared with many. A deep, dark secret that eats at my brain and I can't hold it back any more! I.... I have shitty internet. I know I know, but it's honestly not my fault. For almost the first year in the new house our city (for the sake of God's laughter) only allowed Charter Internet. Who or what in the hell is this *cough* Charter internet? It's this shitty company that provides many shitty services at an astronomical fee. The reason for this is because the owner is a heartless bastard that feeds off of the painstaking barks of baby pups. If I could punch one person in the nose, it would be Meg Ryan...but the jerk that created Charter is a VERY close second. During the colder seasons the internet would work slower. When it got too cold the internet wouldn't work at all. I bit the strap and tried to ride the storm because this was simply the only service available in my area. Recently I received a promotion from CenturyTel which offered a more reliable internet at about a third the cost. Although this is an upgrade I still shudder when I see my internet connection get a measly two bar signal. It's freaking ten feet away from the router! It's equivalent to losing a bar every three feet of distance, or is it? We hooked up the other computer to the router wirelessly; this computer is literally a foot away from it. It's an oddity I tells ya, two bars away from anything! I could be on the moon and get a two bar signal from CenturyTel's router. Why doesn't Verison just come to my town? I dunno, it's a gateway town, you have to pass it to get to UNT, unless you take some shanky back road. The town is a developing city and is on the lake, property value is high; all of these being key elements for Verison to want to strike. Even easier, just one signal box and our entire town is set because a single neighborhood is the size of our city, yet it's still the only city in the surrounding ten gillion miles that does not have a respectable internet provider. Cross ten inches to the next city limit and voila, Verison High Speed Fios bangin' the shit outta your computer! This is, an abomination. What's worse is trying to upload to The Kewl Kids server and timing out.... On TEXT uploads! Even this simple rant will have to be backed up for fear of losing the page upon attempting to post. Anyone have a couple of miles of cable so I can snake Fios off of ya? I'll be your best frrriiieeeennnnndd!

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