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April 01, 2009


My job as a professional slacker affords me the rare opportunity to take bathroom breaks in the many different bathrooms we have in our building.  I like to switch it up, move from floor to floor, so they have a harder time tracking me down to do stuff.  Through the course of my travels, I've begun to notice something disturbing.  Political correctness has invaded the shitter!  Every stall in this building has two rolls of toilet paper, and in every single stall they have one roll over and one roll under.  This is going too far!  Have we really sunk to the point that we have to pander to some freaks who insist on having their TP rolls upside down?!  Fuck the fucking fuckers!  When I'm sitting in a public bathroom stall, taking a shit, wanking it, or just trying to freak out the guy in the next stall by tapping my foot and making sex noises, the last thing I want is to have to see an upside down TP roll.  Disgusting!  What you do in the privacy of your own bathroom is your own business, but keep your sick ass upside down TP fetish to yourself.  It's just gross, you sick fuck.