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March 27, 2017

Please, just tell me how you feel about it so I know how to feel about it.

CIA leaks, the travel ban, government healthcare reform, Obama’s alleged wiretaps on Drumpf, blah, blah, blah, blah. My parents say, “America is divided more than ever” and that “Drumpf is a fear monger.” I get that everything is terrible and everyone is, like, freaking out, but how does everyone feel about my new haircut?

My history teacher is all like, “Comey is a crook” and “This is gonna be Watergate all over again.” So, like, what? I don’t get it. Why is everyone being SO dramatic. Are we doomed? Like, is our time on earth as a species going to be cut as short as my brand-new pixie cut? That’s right I got a pixie cut! And, I just CANNOT form my own opinion until I know how everyone else feels about this. I just wish the cute new transfer student would notice, but all ever he talks about is the travel ban and how it’s affecting his family in Yemen. It’s like, okay we get it. Look at me!

I know I’m only sixteen, but I have problems too you know. Well, for one thing, now I know what Syrian refugees are going through. I guess I also have to pay a price to be noticed, and that price was $200 which is literally the most I’ve ever spent on a haircut. But, whatever. Maybe I should have dyed it? Idk. I feel v. confused.

Today, I’m gonna make my profile picture a sexy selfie, and I’m not gonna change it to a solid color to help spread awareness of a movement. I’ll spread awareness of my own movement. That’s right. #haircutsmatter