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January 05, 2012

What we're arrogant about says something about us. Find out what it says.


The Arrogance Translator

We’re all arrogant about something. Most of us are arrogant about the most stupid things. Ultimately, what we are arrogant about says a lot about us. For example, if I’m arrogant about my skills in mathematics, I’m most likely an intelligent person. If I brag about my donut eating skills, I’m most likely 800 pounds overweight. What does what your arrogant about say about you? Well, read this and find out.


Arrogant Quote #1: “My kill/death ratio in Call of Duty is amazing.”

Translation:  “I am most likely a foul mouthed 13-year old that spends at least 150 hours a week playing Call of Duty.  The only two things that frighten me more than getting killed in CoD are girls and sunlight.”

Arrogant Quote #2: “My musical taste is so complex.”

Translation: “I go to Pitchfork to learn what all of my musical opinions should be. Have you heard of Pitchfork? Of course not, your musical opinions are worse than mine. The fact that I listen to Arcade Fire and you listen to Katy Perry makes me inherently smarter than you could ever be.”

Arrogant Quote #3: “Did you see how many likes my newest Facebook status received?

Translation: “What’s more awesome, that quote I copy and pasted onto Facebook or myself? Every like I get on Facebook gives me one more reason to live.”

Arrogant Quote #4: “I’ve had sex so many times.”

Translation: “I could be collecting stamps, but collecting STDs is so much more gratifying.”

Arrogant Quote #5:  “My kid is better than your kid.”

Translation: “I have failed to accomplish my own goals and have failed to fulfill my dreams. I am declaring my child an extension of myself and they are now responsible for accomplish my goals. I am also a better parent than you are.

Arrogant Quote #6:  “I can outdrink anyone!”

Translation: “My liver can’t out-uhhh-liver anybody’s.

Arrogant Quote #7: “I have 507 Twitter followers!”

Translation: “Did you know that my mother could follow someone 507 times. I didn’t know that was possible. But anyways, at least I look important.”

Arrogant Quote #8: “I have such a great girlfriend! She is the bestest girlfriend in the world!”

Translation: I am currently in a relationship that will last three more weeks. I will soon find out my girlfriend will dump me because of my incessant neediness and serious use of the word “bestest”.

Arrogant Quote #9: “I am the best rapper in the game! My Youtube videos are so hot right now!

Translation: Despite the fact that I consistently rip off Mac Miller and my newest video has a little over a thousand views, no rapper can touch me (in my high school).

Arrogant Quote #10:  “My acoustic guitar skills are amazing!”

Translation: I can kind of play “Your Body is a Wonderland” on this thing. Will you have sex with me?

Arrogant Quote #11: “I am a beast at pick-up basketball.”

Translation: I was the third best player on my high school basketball team and I take pick-up basketball way too seriously. If you don’t pass it to me, I will berate you the entire game. We won’t win unless I take all of the shots. Trust me; I was the third best player on my high school’s basketball team.

Arrogant Quote #12: “Check out these killer shoes I just bought!”

Translation: My head may be empty, but this shoe isn’t.

Arrogant Quote #13: “My dad can beat up your dad.”

Translation: I am five years old. Seriously, I’m five.

Arrogant Quote #14: “I’m a very well-endowed individual.”

Translation: I’m not very well-endowed.

Arrogant Quote #15: “I have captured every single Pokemon.”

Translation: I am seriously awesome. No seriously, I am an amazing human being.