Full Credits

Stats & Data

32Funny
17Die
2,442
Views
June 15, 2017
Published
Description

Greatest - Better than all others. Like, better than literally everyone else you know and love.

At a recent Cabinet meeting, Mike Pence declared serving Donald Trump to be the “greatest privilege of my life.” So what are the nine other greatest privileges it beat out?

The Top Ten Privileges of Mike Pence’s Life

1. Serving Donald Trump

Serving Trump.jpg

Greatest - Having the highest degree of quality or distinction. Better than all others. Like, better than literally everyone else you know and love.


2. Taking baths

Bath.jpg

Because showers are too exotic. Pence believes it is improper for a man to be sprayed with anything. Except undeserved praise from his Cabinet.


3. Neapolitan ice cream

Ice Cream.jpg

But he only eats the vanilla. Or, as it’s called in Indiana, a Pence Sundae.


4. Never using a toilet touched by any woman but his wife

toilet.jpg

Beyond the moral issues, it gives him the peace of mind to sit no matter what he’s there to do.


5. Unlimited toast

Toast.jpg

A VP perk. Available anytime and just like he likes it: White bread,dry or with a little mayo.


6. Never attending events where women other than his wife consume hot dogs

hot dogs.jpg

And only permitting himself to eat a hot dog with a a knife and fork.


7. His mother tying his shoes

Shoelaces.jpg

Until the age 25. But eventually all big boys grow up.


8. His wife tying his shoes

Shoelaces.jpg

There’s a reason he calls her “Mother.”


9. Making collages of Donald Trump

Collage.jpg

Mostly as gifts for loved ones.


10. Tie: Marrying his wife/Raising his three children

Family.jpg

What an honor to be on the same list as the great Donald Trump.

Advertisement
Advertisement